Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Day 20

Had to reschedule with my friend again as her tyre burst so she couldn't get here, so I will have to wait in suspense for her reaction to my new face!  I'm seeing my dad tomorrow though, he lives quite far away from me so this is the first time he's gonna see me since surgery!  He was the person who was most negative about me having my surgery because he thought there was nothing wrong with me and that I didn't need it done, so we'll see what he says tomorrow!

My left side seems to have swelled up a bit more.  I keep waking up in the night and I'm lying with the side of my face kind of on the pillow, so I don't know if that's what's causing it.

I've got an orthodontist appointment tomorrow so hopefully she will tell me something positive!

Day 19

Day 19 was yesterday but I didn't get a chance to post.  I'm probably going to be a bit behind with my posts as my dad is visiting for a few days, but I will make sure I take photos everyday, I might just be a bit late posting them!

I was meant to see my friend on Monday night but we ended up rescheduling to tonight so I will have to wait until then to get her reaction.  I've told her I've got a face fit for Halloween already!

I did however see some family friends yesterday.  I felt a bit nervous about them seeing my face because they haven't really known much about my surgery, but it turns out their reaction was... nothing!  All they said was that I didn't look very swollen!  When my mum asked them if they thought I looked different they did say yes, but I just expected more of a reaction.  To me I think I look different enough for people to notice.  Maybe they were just expecting me to look different so didn't comment on it.  I think the other thing is that people who haven't known much about it don't realise that I wanted to look different, so I think they might think it's more polite to not mention it?  I'm not sure!

I put make-up on for the first time yesterday.  It felt odd trying to put foundation on my chubby cheeks!  But it felt good to have make-up on and feel slightly attractive!   Even though my mum's seen me everyday since my op, she thought I looked really different last night when I was wearing normal clothes (not my usual jogging bottoms and hoody!) and had make-up on and my hair done and everything.  And nobody looked at me strangely (not that I noticed anyway) so I don't think I look too weird now, just like I've got a bit of a fat face!

As I've said before, I always feel like I look worse in photos than I do when I look in the mirror, so I've attempted to upload a video of my face from different angles.  I'll be amazed if this actually works!  Sorry it's so dark!

Monday, 29 October 2012

Day 18

I'm feeling a lot more positive about my appearance today.  I don't really know why, I just am!  Also my stitches started coming out last night, so that's one more step back to a normal mouth!

I never used to tie my hair up because I felt like it just made my ugly side profile more noticeable, but now that I have a nice side profile I need to learn some nice up-do's

I never used to be able to smile with my mouth closed before.   It looks a bit odd at the moment but it's getting there!

Sunday, 28 October 2012

Day 17

I've realised that the reason I'm so impatient for my swelling to go down is because I'm worried that I won't like what's underneath, so I want to be able to see it now to reassure myself!  I suppose I feel like I look a bit odd when I smile, and I'm worried that it's not because of the swelling and that this is just my new face and I'll look odd forever!  I know I'm probably just being silly, and if I was reading somebody else saying this I'd be like 'Don't be silly, it's only been a couple of weeks since your surgery', but sometimes it just suddenly hits me that this new face is forever and I think 'What if I don't like what's lurking beneath my chipmunk cheeks?!'

Last night I had a dream that I went out with people I used to go to uni with, and after a while I realised that none of them had even noticed that I looked different, and I was a little disappointed!  I haven't really seen many people yet so I'm excited (and a bit worried) to get their reactions!  I'm seeing a friend tomorrow so it will be interesting to see what her reaction is!

Today I've had a few aches and pains which is unusual.  Earlier when I touched a certain place on my right cheek I got a pain going along my cheek bone to my TMJ, but it seems to have gone now.  And I had a weird feeling sort of in a muscle at the back of my mouth (it's hard to explain) when I was rinsing with water. And my bottom teeth have been really tender.  I've had to keep checking that I've put my bands on right because it feels like it's pulling more strongly than normal, and like my top teeth are pushing down too hard on my bottom teeth at the front.

Also I've gone back to putting ice on my face mainly just because I'm desperate to try and reduce the swelling.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings, here are my Day 17 pics.  For once in my life I like my face more from the side than from the front.

Saturday, 27 October 2012

Friday, 26 October 2012

Day 15

I wish this last bit of swelling would go down!  It just seems to stay the same everyday now :(  I feel like a chipmunk.

I think I'm getting more feeling back in my mouth now.  When I eat cold food I can feel it on the roof of my mouth, and when I'm cleaning my teeth and I rinse my mouth with water or mouthwash it feels so cold on the inside of my bottom lip, it's like I've got ice in my mouth.

Anyway, here are Day 15 pics...

Progress Days 1-14